Christmas Adverts 2026: A Totally Fair, Definitely Not Biased Post-Mortem

Right, deep breath. It is 7 November 2026, which means the Christmas adverts have been with us for approximately eleven months and also about four minutes. The mince pies are on the shelves, the garden centres have gone full elf, and the annual ritual of pretending we are not going to cry at a supermarket advert is well underway.

This year's crop is a strange bunch. There are the usual big-budget tearjerkers, a few genuinely charming low-cost spots from online-only retailers, and at least two campaigns that look like someone discovered Canva at 4pm on a Friday and decided that would do. So here is the JGH Online post-mortem: a ranking, a rant, and a reader poll you can argue about on Boxing Day.

The Ones That Actually Earned Their Mince Pie

1. The supermarket one with the grandmother and the broken radio. Yes, it is manipulative. Yes, the piano music starts exactly when you expect it to. But it earns its tears because it is about a small, specific thing: an old woman fixing a radio so she can hear her granddaughter's hospital radio show. There is no montage of turkeys. Nobody says the word 'bespoke'. It is just a quiet cup of tea and a bit of soldering. Annoyingly good.

2. The online-only retailer that spent its budget on one good idea. This is the one where a woman assembles a flatpack wardrobe while her cat judges her from a cardboard box. It looks like it was shot on a phone, which is the point. It is funny, it is 40 seconds long, and it understands that most people are not having a magazine Christmas. They are having a 'where does this screw go' Christmas. More of this, please.

3. The department-store epic that remembered Christmas is about people, not a montage of coats. The big department store has been trying to recapture the magic of its 2010s heyday for years. In 2026, it finally stopped trying so hard. A bus driver, a school choir, a man buying a scarf for his dad. It is not revolutionary, but it is warm. And nobody bursts into song, which is a mercy.

The Mid-Tier Muddle

4. The budget supermarket mascot caper. There is a talking carrot. There is a snowball fight. There is a joke about parsnips that will be repeated in every office kitchen by 9am. It is fine. It is three minutes too long. It will be forgotten by the first mince pie, but it will also be the advert your uncle quotes at dinner. Such is life.

5. The charity appeal that got the tone almost exactly right. Sober, simple, no celebrities in Santa hats. It does not rank higher because it is not really an advert in the traditional sense; it is a plea. But it is the only one this year that made me reach for my phone rather than my remote. That counts for something.

6. The mobile network's festive singalong. A group of famous people you vaguely recognise from panel shows sing a song in a fake snow-covered street. It is fine. It is also the advert equivalent of a group chat where everyone is trying too hard. The product placement is so aggressive that the phone might as well have a speaking role.

The Ones That Missed the Point Entirely

7. The luxury car advert set in a snow-covered village with no actual people. Beautiful cinematography. Expensive-looking trees. A car driving very slowly past a church. It is about as Christmassy as a parking ticket. At one point, a labrador looks at the car. That is the plot. I have never felt less festive in my life.

8. The online-only campaign that looked like a PowerPoint from 2009. You know the one. White background, slightly stretched logo, a stock photo of a woman laughing at a wrapping paper tube. It is weirdly cheap in a way that feels almost radical. Did they blow the budget on the domain name? Was the brief just 'make it feel like an email from your aunt'? I have questions.

9. The fast-fashion one where everyone was having the best Christmas ever in a beige kitchen. Christmas is not a beige kitchen. Christmas is a kitchen where someone has already burned the roasties and the dog has eaten a whole stick of butter. This advert wants you to believe that festive joy comes in a matching loungewear set. It does not. Festive joy comes from not having to wear a bra for three days.

10. The one with the AI-generated reindeer. The reindeer's eyes are wrong. The snow moves in a way that snow does not move. Somewhere, a focus group said 'can we make it feel more magical' and a machine said 'yes'. It is uncanny, and not in a fun way. The only Christmas miracle here is that it got approved.

The JGH Online Reader Poll

So, which advert will still be discussed on Boxing Day? And which will be forgotten by the first mince pie? Cast your vote in the comments, or just shout it at your telly. Both are valid.

Which advert will still be discussed on Boxing Day?

• The quiet grandmother-and-radio one.
• The cheap-but-clever flatpack wardrobe one.
• The department-store bus driver one.
• None of them; we will be arguing about the King's speech.

Which will be forgotten by the first mince pie?

• The mobile singalong.
• The snow-covered car advert.
• The AI reindeer.
• All of the above, thankfully.

The festive advert has become a strange national ritual: part entertainment, part group therapy, part excuse to cry at a spreadsheet. In 2026, the best ones remembered that Christmas is not about perfection. It is about a broken radio, a flatpack wardrobe, and a cup of tea. The worst ones remembered that you can put tinsel on anything. They just forgot to add a point.